xmas dinner

So your favorite boy invites you to his parents house for xmas dinner. What’s a girl to do? Sure it will be awkward – but you really like him, you don’t have any family dinner of your own to go to….and you weren’t swift enough to come up with an excuse. So looks like you’re going to dinner!

Now…not sure if you’re supposed to bring presents, dress up, or if he even told them he’s bringing you. Yay! Excitement all around! Also you’re gonna just have to clench that jaw and not look surprised no matter how he introduces you.

Anyway – you had a whole 36 hours to get your act together but you messed it all up and now you have 1 hour to get out to the store on Christmas eve and find a hostess gift for his mom….but she doesn’t drink and you can’t even find a fucking candle that’s not totally lame.  So… she gets nothing. Perfect first impression. The point is: she doesn’t know that you know you were supposed to bring a hostess gift – so you maybe don’t look like as much of a douchebag as you feared.

Now you’re trying to get ready without being panicky or calling him to cancel – you’re out of the shower and blow drying your hair when power goes out. Awesome. Getting dressed in the dark will no doubt bring about professional and poised results. Can’t wait to see what you “decided” to wear once you get to their house.

As you start to think back about where you went wrong…. you realize that being hella hungover today maybe isn’t helping. You also note that the perfect solution to a burning hot upset hungover stomach may not have been salsa and hot sauce and tacos…twice today. Well, your time machine is nowhere to be found so you’ll just have to deal with your bad decisions.

He picks you up and is clearly nervous for you. On the way there he warns you that his mom and sister are fighting. And he’s already apologizing…..for everything. This doesn’t seem to be a good sign. But maybe he’s just being cautious. Like you are when you warn everyone that your entire family is totally mental before they come over to your house for the first time. Fair enough. Let’s give this thing a chance. Do not ask him to turn around and take you home. Do not ask him to turn around and take you home. Do not…….

You pull up to a house with a huge nativity scene set up in the front yard. And your nerves are rocking. But everyone on the planet is more religious than you so….yeah settle down! You know damn well CHRISTmas can be a delicate time and subject no matter who’s house you’re going to spend it at.

You arrive and there are like 30 people there. WTF? And they like eachother. Seriously. They are together because they want to be and they are warm and fun and friendly and it’s lovely. This is not the uncomfortable semi formal sit down dinner with awkward convo you were expecting. Maybe snide comments and coldly silent dinners are only how white people celebrate important holidays. Yewwwwww! Three cheers for diversity! And hope springs for the possibility of an enjoyable Christmas once again in this lifetime.

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2 Responses to xmas dinner

  1. danielle j says:

    I knew you could do it! And yeah. Hung over, time machineless, and wearing mystery clothing might not be the perfect set up…but then it all turned out for the best anyways! It’s like the good part in Cinderella or something!

  2. Edler says:

    Your hilarious haha

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