Congratulations are in order because I got around to getting a haircut after almost 2 years.
I finally caved because my hair looked like hell and I have a little baby that likes to:
a) barf in my hair
b) pull on my hair
c) it’s the post-pregnancy time when all my hair is falling out anyway. Gross.
I made an appointment at a fancy studio that gets good reviews and that many of my friends have gone to with great result.
The stylist was sweet, friendly, and kind.
However, this haircut simply re-affirmed why I haven’t gotten a haircut for so long.
As she examined my hair I told her I was looking to keep as much of the length as possible and that I wanted it thinned out by putting in a lot of chunky layers. Getting layers will keep the front short, so less barf and hair pulling. But the long bits will ensure I continue to resemble a girl. And I will still be able to tie it back when I’m working out.
I also told her to go ahead and make it all weird and funky if she wanted to.
Sounds like a good plan, right?
Sure, it would have been, if she’d stuck to the plan.
Except she decided not to listen to anything I said and instead just went ahead and gave me the most boring haircut on planet Earth. No layers, no nothing. She just chopped off the bottom foot of my hair.
I could have done that myself.
Now, after TWO hours and $130- I have ended up with a crummy 90’s soccer mom haircut that I could have gotten for $14 at a GreatClips or $17 at SuperCuts or for free in my bathroom.
It’s too short to tie up and it’s just long enough to always be in my mouth.
Normally I would be super pissed, but she popped out to get me a coconut cream danish while I was in the restroom. It’s hard to stay mad at someone like that.
But my cut doesn’t suit me at all. I feel like I should be hosting Wake Up San Fransisco alongside Danny Tanner. Or writing a mommy blog about potty training.
And no. I do not want to post a picture. But it’s basically this:
Except not blonde or sleek and fancy because I don’t have a pro stylist at my house and my hair flips out weirdly at the bottom.
So I guess it actually looks more like this:
I think I just have bad luck with hairdressers. Remember this hilarious disaster? ‘Cause I sure do!
Good thing hair grows out fast. In about a year and a half it should be back to just how I like it.
Long, unruly, and in a perpetual ponytail.
I can’t wait.