The Spirit of the Holidays

This year I have been consumed with driving around to see Christmas lights on peoples houses.
Not the really great houses where homeowners went all out to really make an amazing display.
Or even those who have done a decent job of decorating.
But more so the houses with really terrible lights partially strewn about.
As if those people really just took that Christmas Spirit and said…..
“Ah, fuck it. One string of lights half on that rock is good enough”.

I just love those houses. I love the mystery behind their decision. It’s not that they don’t care at all, because then they wouldn’t have any lights at all. They cared enough to do all the following:

They decided to decorate
They found the lights
They untangled the lights
They went outside with their lights
and then…… dedicated all of three and a half minutes to the act of actually installing the lights.

Now, it’s the motivation (or lack thereof) is what totally intrigues me.
Did they feel guilted into decorating because all their neighbours have lights?
Did their spouse endlessly pester them into putting up the lights?
Were they drunk?
Are they feeble seniors who cannot physically execute the installation?
Did the young children insist on doing the decorating themselves this year?
Was it too cold out for them to complete the job?
Did they run out of lights?
Do they not have a ladder?
Did they think Jesus’s feelings would be hurt if they didn’t decorate for his birthday party?

All of these excuses would be reasonable. What other excuses can you come up with to justify a half-assed job on putting up the lights?

I want to drive around taking pictures and make a photo essay. But alas, I have no decent camera.

One of my friends commented that I am extremely judgemental for someone with no lights up at all.
But that’s exactly it. I know I wouldn’t do a good job, so I’m not going to put in the effort.
Why bother doing a bad job? Is it not better to save that energy to put towards something else?
I have instead spent all my time and effort cutting out paper Star Wars snowflakes with which to decorate the mantel.
These have received plenty of compliments and (as far as I know) have never been the subject of a blog post or photo essay.

Here are a couple pictures of terrible lights.
Enjoy and may the spirit of xmas be with you!




I feel that growing up, we may have been one of these types of houses.
A single mother who wants to put in the effort, but just cannot find the time or resources to devote to the project.
Our single string of outdoor xmas lights were basically a festive alternative to a porch light. Providing safe passage to those trying to navigate our icy steps.

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2 Responses to The Spirit of the Holidays

  1. Nature Cat says:

    You’re such a harsh critic. Those lights are great!

  2. Mary says:

    Those pictures are hysterical! I remember that my dad used to put out a single string of lights on a scraggly bush in the front yard, but at least he did something! Hey, how come I didn’t get notification of this Tasty Turntable???

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