The Bali Kiss

Yes, I dumped my bike at 40 km/hr (25 mi).
But I am okay, mostly due to the fact that I wearing a helmet. The whole left side of my helmet cracked in half… and I know full well that otherwise, that would have been my skull.

Was I driving beyond my ability? Acting like a stupid tourist? I don’t think so. I’m no dummy when it comes to driving, but a number of random factors contributed to my accident and here is the rundown.

I rented a bike that was not in the best shape. I complained after the third day that the front wheel wobbled, the steering was a bit wonky, and the rear brake was all but useless. I tried to exchange the bike, but they said nothing was available so I was stuck with wonky garbage bike for the day.
Then I loaded up, laptop, water, a few supplies for my friend, lunch, and whatever other random stuff ladies carry around in their purses. Bug spray, a bottle of water, and like 7 chocolate bars.
Of course.
And lastly, some guy was chasing me yelling, pulling up alongside, and SHOWING ME HIS DICK.
Seriously. How gross is that?
So, depending on who you ask, I was either chasing him and trying to kick his ass.
Or I was running away from him and being pursued as a helpless maiden.
(In reality, it was a bit of both).
And then before I knew it I was upon a sharp turn in the road and my wonky steering reared its ugly head.
As I started to veer into the oncoming lane I hit the brakes, however, only the front brake engaged and the bike slide out from under me. The next thing I knew my helmet was cracking into the asphalt.
I got out of it with road rash down the entire left side of my body. Arm, torso and leg all the way down to my shoe.
I am so grateful I was wearing a helmet, but god, do I ever wish I had also been wearing pants.
Almost everywhere I was clothed was spared any damage.

Except for my shoulder.
All the heavy bags I was carrying slung across my body pulled really hard and messed my shoulder up something bad.
With my left arm basically useless now, I have succumbed to making an appointment across the island with an osteopath and my own doctor back home as soon as possible.
If you know me at all, you know that something pretty serious has to happen for me to agree to see a doctor.
The osteo was great and diagnosed a mild concussion, a sprained AC shoulder joint, a damaged 5th rib, sternum, and collarbone.
But in about 4 weeks I should be back in fighting shape (finger crossed) but in the meantime, I look like a mummy with all my bandages and I fully expect to be a gooey scabby disgusting mess for the next few weeks.

I am not looking forward to lugging my suitcases across planet earth. But at least I have iodine and hydrogen peroxide to look forward to!

Moral of the story: wear your helmet, don’t settle for a wonky bike, travel light, and don’t get too angry if some idiot flashes you his dick.

Fucking Bali.

No pics because it’s gross.
But maybe I’ll post some in a few days when it’s even grosser.

Much love from the southern hemisphere… and for the millionth time – please wear your helmet!

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1 Response to The Bali Kiss

  1. dslrbbt says:

    Maaaaan! I am glad you were wearing that helmet, my friend. The guy with dick is making me see red though. Ugh. I’m sorry that happened.

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