Lynn’s Reviews: News you can use!
I got a new swimsuit: The Nike Color Surge Fastback Tank One Piece.
The actual name is just a lot of fancy words to say “Swimsuit for swimming”. I have plenty of suits for surfing, they are all well made bikinis that are covered in surf wax and ripping into shreds. I also have plenty of suits for suntanning, tiny bikinis that don’t cover much and (in my experience) don’t exactly stay on when you whip down a waterslide.
But this suit is different. It’s for swimming laps. The kind “real” swimmers wear. A teeny one-piece that goes up your butt. And it is surprisingly revealing for a one-piece.
The first time I wore it to the pool to do laps, I was super self-conscious. The cut and placement of the straps were not right for my body type. Or maybe I had gotten it a size too small…. either way, I was certain at least one of my boobs was going to pop free. I don’t just mean while I did the backstroke, it felt like the ladies could accidentally fall out while I was simply standing still on the pool deck.
But as soon as I got into the water, the suit came alive and I was KILLING it. My pace was good. I had the timing, stroke, and breathing down. My form was better than I can ever remember it being.
And it was all completely effortless.
I’ve heard people talk about having a magic surfboard. A magic board will make you fall in love with surfing all over again and takes your surfing to the next level. What makes a magic board is the right combo of design elements to create speed, power, control and works wonders in the type of waves you surf.
But this? This was a magic swimsuit. It turned me into the real swimmer I knew I had the potential to be. The transformation was nearly inexplicable. This must have been what Eddie Brock felt like when he bonded with Venom.
I left the pool in a daze, did I just really do that swim? With my boobs staying suited up the whole time and everything? I double-checked the look on nearby men’s faces and my swim tracking afterwards, it all seemed to be true.
After getting home and showering, I noticed something… my shoulders…. the shape was different.
I twisted and turned my arms every which way. All the while, checking myself out in the bathroom mirror.
My shoulders had never looked like that before. It looked like I was growing a new kind of shoulder muscle. I’m no doctor of muscles, so I can’t even tell my Serratus anterior from my Rectus abdominus, I’m pretty sure neither of those is a shoulder muscle. But for all I know, they could be the same thing. I’m really only slightly more educated on the subject than my six-year-old son, who claims his hair has muscles.
I decided to go to one source that would be able to answer all my intro to human biology questions. I asked Mister Fitness on our date that night. I lifted my arms, poked at my weird-shaped shoulders and said “What is this new muscle I got? What’s that all about?” His eyes lit up and he exclaimed enthusiastically “You got capped delts! YEAHHHHHH!”
I still don’t know exactly what that means, but if my boyfriend is stoked about my muscles, it must be pretty good. I don’t exactly think I need broader shoulders, but if my new swimsuit wants me to look like a quarterback, I’m not gonna complain.
As uncomfortable and unflattering the swimsuit is, I’m keeping it. And wearing it. FOREVER.
And when it falls apart I will go back to SwimOutlet.com and drop another $62.28 USD
Magic, I tells ya.