Lazzzzzy days

Hi Team,

I’m 1 week into my fundraiser and there is good news and bad news.

The good news is no one has donated to my fundraiser yet – so I don’t have to do any of the challenges!
The bad news is…. no one has donated to my fundraiser yet – so I am still fat and lazy and I haven’t helped the Donkeys or the Environment at all.
Sigh.

I have decided to accept personalized challenges. So, for example, if a resident of Hawaii donates to my fundraiser (any amount) I will walk 11,000 for a week straight!

I can do it! I WILL do it! I will provide photographic evidence and probably write whinny comments about it on social media.
Sounds fun, right?!

So let me know what you want me to achieve! OR Let me know if you want to do any of the challenges with me.

The lovely Elizabeth Gordon has agreed to walk up Wall Centre with me and give up sugar for all of June, and Lindsay is giving up drinks…..but only if make our donation target goals!

If you want more info on the amazing charities or crazy challenges I’ve posted, please let me know. I’m happy to provide tons of additional info.

If you are unable to support, but just want to follow the fun – please check out the Legal Donkey Fundraiser FaceBook page:

https://www.facebook.com/LegalDonkey/

And my journey will be moving to Hawaii next week for the rest of May, so get engaged with the fundraiser and check out all the pics of me trying to exercise in 95 degree tropical paradise.

https://www.canadahelps.org/en/pages/donkeys-fitness-and-justice/

Every little bit helps, so please make a donation of $3 or more. If you want to make a donation of less than $3 or prefer to donate offline, please contact me to let me know and we will work it out.

I look forward to seeing my first donation come in. And remember, I have piles of fun thank you gifts at my house waiting to be sent out to you!

Much love to you all from the beautiful Pacific Ocean

Lynn <3

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Mother’s Day Gift Idea

When I was a child, I thought moms were the most amazing thing. They knew how to cook and sew and garden and drive cars.
They could spell and knew weird things, like what a dog year was or where oil came from.
They were geniuses that could solve every problem.
What a bummer it was to grow up and discover moms are just regular dumbasses like me doing the best they can.

Being a mom is tough. It’s stressful trying to keep someone alive and hoping you aren’t totally screwing them up. Nobody is perfect, but I always want to thank moms for doing the best they could given their particular strengths and circumstances.

As Mother’s day nears, I know this is a bittersweet time for lots of people. Some people don’t have moms, or don’t like their moms, or have complicated relationships with their moms.
But Mother’s Day doesn’t have to be about just one person in your life, it can be about all moms. So let your frazzled friend know she’s doing a good job, buy your Grandma some flowers, or tell your godmother she’s cool.

This year I’ll be sending out a bunch of love to the moms I know. And I hope you do the same. It doesn’t have to be much, just be a card or a small gift. Or even a phone call or text to tell them they are neat. It will mean lots to them. I promise.

If you need a simple DIY gift idea, try making her this natural sugar scrub. It’s simple, vegan, affordable, all natural, moisturizing, and environmentally sound:

You will need:

A jar with a lid ( like an 8oz canning mason jar)
1 cup white sugar
1/4 cup coconut oil
A couple drops of Vitamin E

Directions:
Mix ingredients together well with a spoon and then jam into the jar.

For jazzier results, try adding a drop of food colouring or a couple drops of a great smelling essential oil.
And slap on a bow.
Gift ready!

I hope your Mother’s Day isn’t just another day of washing dishes and cleaning up barf.

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Legal Donkey Fundraiser

Hey y’all!
Welcome to my amazing summer fundraiser!
This year, I have decided to create my own fundraiser so I could choose charities that really reflect my passions and actively engage in ways that will keep me motivated – and keep you entertained.

I have chosen two charities that you can pick from (or you can choose both!):

TURTLE VALLEY DONKEY REFUGE SOCIETY is an amazing farm in Chase, BC that takes in abused, unwanted, or neglected donkeys and keeps them happy and healthy on the farm for the rest of their lives. It’s truly inspiring to see how much these people are doing for these sweet animals. If only we would all be so caring towards each and every one of our animal friends.

If you want to learn more, please check out their website, it is so heartwarming to see the care, love, and respect these animals are given. Also – there are loads of adorable pictures!

WEST COAST ENVIRONMENTAL LAW , based in Vancouver, BC is a legal champion for the environment. They work hard to create a just and sustainable society where citizens are empowered to protect the environment and environmental protection is enshrined in law.

As a social and legal justice enthusiast, I have always held a special place in my heart for fighting for those who are unable to protect themselves, like animals and our beautiful planet.

Check out their website to see everything they are really doing to help and the areas they specialize in (like marine conservation and environmental legal aid)

http://www.wcel.org/

//———-//———-//———-// Donate Now//———–//———–//———–

Neither of these organizations are government funded, so your donations really do mean so very much to them (and to me).

This fundraiser is a way for me to give back to causes that matter to me, a way to connect with my friends and supporters, and really spread some light in what can sometimes be a cold dark world. It means more that words can say to see the huge outpouring of love and support from each and every one of you.

And this year, instead of doing some crummy old 1 km stroll, I’ve arranged a bunch of killer personal challenges that donors can unlock. Here are the details.

Now, whether you want to donate for a good cause, or just to see me suffer. No judgement. It’s the summer of fitness for me. And I’m counting on you to make it happen!

If you make a donation, please be sure to send me a message at legaldonkey.fundraiser@gmail.com with your email address and shipping info so I can get you those thank you gifts and updates. I’ll also be posting to our Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/LegalDonkey/ so be sure to check in there for pictures and updates along the way.

If you have any questions at all about the charities, my fundraising, the challenges, tax receipts, donating offline, or anything else at all, please shoot me an email at legaldonkey.fundraiser@gmail.com

If you are ready to donate, you can do so here:

https://www.canadahelps.org/en/pages/donkeys-fitness-and-justice/

I’ll be running this fundraiser until Aug 31 or until I die, whichever comes first. So strap in, the summer of fitness and  fundraising is starting!

Much love to you all,

Lynn

Donate now!

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Legal Donkey Challenges

I want to Donate Now!

This year, instead of doing some crummy old 1 km stroll or whatever, I’ve arranged a bunch of challenges that donors can unlock.
Here are the details:

Challenge #1 – every donation of any amount unlocks a thank you gift and monthly posts with updates letting you know how the fundraising/challenges are going. See pictures of adorable animals interspersed with pictures of me dying during my challenges. Fun!

Challenge #2Unlocked! 10 donations of any amount unlocks a personal challenge in which I will jog for 2 km on July 1st.
I am scared of this one because I haven’t gone for a run since last September, and I may not even remember how.
But I know there are a few of you out there who are hoping I’ll get back into running, so this is your big chance to make that happen!

Challenge #3Unlocked! $150 raised and I will go on a no sugar diet for all of June. The big hearted Elizabeth Gordon has also agreed to engage in this challenge with me!
I know this might not seem like a big deal, but NO POPSICLES on hot summer days?! Rough stuff!

Challenge #4Unlocked! $300 raised will get me to do a 30-day Cardio Challenge.
I have a fun app that creates 30-day challenges for me…. well “fun” might not be the right word.
My cardio is atrocious, so please do me the favour of unlocking this challenge.

Challenge #5 – $500 raised for will get me to do a 30-Day Ab Challenge.
My trainer thinks I have a great core, so let’s put it to the test! I promise you before and after pictures.

Challenge #6 – $750 raised will get me and Liz Gordon to climb the Wall Centre.
That’s 48 flights, the 4th tallest building in Vancouver!

Challenge #7 – $1000 raised will get me to run 1 mile every day in August.
You have no idea how much this scares me. One mile. Every day.
Again, a great incentive for those who want to see me lace up the old runners again!

Challenge #8 – $1500 raised will get me and Liz to drive out to the Donkey Refuge in Chase (5 hrs away) and get you loads of pictures of Koa meeting the Donkeys!

If you make a donation, please be sure to send me a message at legaldonkey.fundraiser@gmail.com with your email address and shipping info so I can get you those thank you gifts and updates.

If you are ready to whip me into shape by helping to unlock some challenges, you can do so now right here:

https://www.canadahelps.org/en/pages/donkeys-fitness-and-justice/

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I’m back!

Hi there.

It’s been a while.

I’ve missed you.

So what the heck have I been doing all this time?
Well, a lot of working and being a toddler’s mom. But here and there I found pockets of time for other things too. I stopped writing you for a bit because I was entertaining the idea that I might start a podcast.
But let’s face it – I have no energy to start a new venture. And nobody wants to listen to my weird puppet voice yammer on. So I’ve decided to keep entertaining you (my 3 dedicated readers) in our tried and true fashion.

Here’s what you missed out on since I’ve been gone:

1- I was invited to join a Fat Club
I found this to be one of the most wildly insulting things that has ever happened to me.
I seriously got a Facebook invite to join FAT CLUB VANCOUVER.
This group focuses on embracing their bodies in a positive way and doing fun social activities as a group.
And though I am currently overweight I DO NOT see myself as fat. I think of myself as chunky, or curvy, or thick, or sturdy.

I cannot believe someone would invite me to join such a group. Seriously, how rude is it to send someone a FB invite to join such a club? And how horrible is it, that since it’s facebook, they used my friends list to suggest people I could invite to the join the group. Looking at that list broke my heart – what if those friends could see that?

The Fat Club members seemed to bond over things like their thyroid disorders, doctors telling them to consider surgery, the inability to wear horizontal stripes, the confidence they lack to try sports, or the bullying they endured as children. I have no experience with any of these things and cannot relate.
Being fat is fine and I have no issue with it, but I do not identify with this segment of people.
At first, being considered someone who would join a Fat Group made me really sad. I starting doubting myself, I mean, I already go to the gym 4x a week…. did I need to up that to 17x a week? I don’t have time for that!

But then I remembered… Why be sad when you can be MAD.
Screw you, Fat Club. I’m not fat. I’m not joining your club, and I hope FB shuts you down…for being offensive to me.

2- I went on a no-sugar diet
I have been a sugar monster my whole life and decided that instead of getting a bunch of diabetes, I would try cutting it out.
I mean, not all together. I would still eat fruit, or that crappy peanut butter I like that is 30% sugar, but no more chocolate bars, cake, ice-cream, soda etc.
I was aiming for 30 days… and it was 10 before I slipped up. I went to my mother in laws house and ate a bunch of old christmas cookies she still had sitting around.

I was both surprised and disappointed with myself for breaking my diet, especially since the cookies weren’t even good. Yes, they were 3 months old, but that wasn’t it. About a week later I had a reese’s peanut butter cup and was shocked at how gross it tasted to me.
So after about 3 weeks, I realized my tastes had changed a little. Cheap gas station chocolates were disgusting and donuts from the stop ‘n shop held no appeal.
I realized I no longer wanted cheap sugar, but high end fancy sugar in small quantities, like luxury restaurant pastries or a sliver of vegan chocolate.
I had broken free from the sugar monster and it felt great!
I lost zero weight, but my skin cleared up a little.
Now I am back to the sugar, but at a much more reasonable rate that I was previously.
Overall, moderate success!

3- I vowed not to get murdered

As you may know, I have always been into Criminology, but recently started listening to ALL the true crime podcasts.
All this really did was remind me that while I was in University, I was completely stressed out all the time at the prospect of becoming the victim of crime. And now that feeling was returning, compounded by the fact that this was no longer a concern over general crime, but over the fact that I was sure I was going to be murdered.
I’m no dummy and I know what general steps to take to not get murdered…. like don’t hitchhike or take candy from strangers and remember to lock your door.

The main thing I took away from this was I had to get more in shape so when the murderer comes for me (because he will) I will be able to try to kill him right back.
This felt like a good way to take control of my fate and assert my feminist equality goals at the same time.
So I started going to the gym 4x a week and focused more on power moves like my roundhouse, back kick, elbow, and hammer fist.
I also have armed myself with pepper spray, a pen weapon, and tiger claws.
When that killer comes for me, he’s in for an unpleasant surprise!

4- I am experimenting with salty armpits
I’m not an overly sweaty or smelly person. But after 23 years of not using deodorant or antiperspirant, I realized I might be able to try a little harder with my personal hygiene.
So I got a Himalayan Salt Rock to rub on after the shower.
It doesn’t irritate my underarms like I thought it would and I have been surprised at how well it works.
I first thought there is no way this all natural hippy salt will work to keep me fresh and clean, but then came to the realization that the salt will certainly work better than the NOTHING I have been using up until this point.
And it does.
Success with this all natural, vegan, affordable alternative!

A bunch of other stuff probably happened too.
But I can’t remember what it was right now.
Once, I do – you’ll be the first to hear about it.

Love you forever,
Lynn!

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Cupcakes for all!

Thank you so much to everyone who supported my little Cupcake Party for the SPCA.


Whether you came out for cupcakes, made an online donation, lent me a baking pan, gave me an icing recipe, encouraged me to make the cupcakes instead of buying pre-made ones, or helped keep Koa from stealing all the cupcakes off the counter…..
Thank you so much to everyone for helping me raise a whopping $450 for the BC SPCA!
I’ve indicated that the money should go to the most needy branch of the SPCA, so it probably won’t stay in Richmond, but instead the money will go somewhere more rural.

Here is a quick rundown of how your donation helps the SPCA care for animals in need:

$10 provides an enrichment toy for a cat which assists in their behavioural development

$30 provides bales of hay to feed the farm animals in our care

$40 microchips a cat or dog to ensure that they always find their way home

$50 subsidizes the emergency boarding costs of the animals of victims of domestic violence

$100 provides warm bedding, heat pads and lamps to keep a puppy warm

$200 subsidizes medical treatment for an injured dog or cat

$500 keeps an Inspector on the road fighting cruelty for two days

I probably won’t have another cupcake party any time soon, because it really did a number on my “no sugar” diet.
The cupcakes were dairy-free, but still delicious enough to know they were far from healthy!
I guess if you are going to have a cheat day, might as well eat 5 cupcakes topped with buttercream icing, sprinkles, and reeces pieces, and animal crackers!

A big thank you to each and every one of you for your support <3

And stay tuned for my next adventurous endeavour!

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Cupcakes to the rescue!

I’m holding a Cupcake Day party for National Cupcake Day™ for SPCAs & Humane Societies on Monday, February 27!

It’s going to be a scrumptious event with irresistible treats that will help raise awareness and urgently-needed funds to support animals that are abused, abandoned, neglected or no longer wanted.

I’ll be providing the most delicious, delectable and scrumptious cupcakes. I just KNOW you want one! Or two! Or a bunch! Please consider donating online to join my Cupcake Day Party. Not only will you get to enjoy a yummy cupcake, but you’ll be supporting a cause that really matters to me.

You can donate online – it’s super easy. Just click on the “Donate” button on the right side of the page.
If I won’t see you on Monday, February 27th, please donate anyways. You can join me in helping rescue tens of thousands of animals across Canada from abuse and neglect and give them a second chance.
And I’ll give you a cupcake IOU or some other fun treat that I will mail you or give you in person!

Thank you so much for your support!

Donate now to reserve your cupcake (or special mailable treat)!

Feel free to share this or ask me any questions at all!

<3 Lynn

 

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Floating

Today I tried floating. This is a method of sensory deprivation.

A friend and I each bought $40 Groupons to go to Float Sense for a 90 minute float in a tank.

You go into a private room, strip down, shower off, put in your ear plugs and then climb into the sensory deprivation tank (or isolation tank) and shut the door behind you.
The tank is about 4x4x8 and filled with a foot of body temperature water. So it’s not too small, hot, cold, or terrifying once you are inside.
Before I got inside I was sure I was going to be murdered in the tank (but my newfound belief I am going to be murdered is another topic entirely).

Poiler alert: I was not murdered in the tank.

Here is a pic of the room and tank:

float-tank

The temperature of the water is very pleasant and meant to mimic your body temperature so you have a feeling of weightless suspension, instead of focusing on the feel of the water.

The purpose of the float depends on the person. Here is a breakdown of the most common:
Relaxation: A gentle float in a quiet, dark room so you can really relax, or even fall asleep.
Mental: A calming float is a great way to ease your emotional state and get away from every day stress. It has been shown to help with stress, anxiety, and depression. It can be a calming experience that works to slow your mind down as you relax in the warm cocoon of water. It is an alternative option to what many use medication or alcohol to achieve.
Pain management: The weightless float can aid with physical injury or pain management as it takes pressure off the neck, back, and joints. The 800 lbs of epsom salts help ensure a weightless float, even for those who have a hard time floating in the pool or ocean.
Mediation: This is the main purpose. The sensory deprivation tank (or pod) lets your mind be free from every day stress and distraction. You cannot see, hear, smell, taste or feel anything (as long as you are still and not splashing about).
Since all 5 senses are without stimulation, you can focus on your breathing and relaxation. Unlike at home, where you will be tempted by your phone, television, irritated by noisy neighbours or any other number of potential distractions.
The goal with this is to clear your mind and fully relax.

Of course, that is the issue I struggled with. With no stimulation, as with my attempts at meditation, I was almost immediately bored.
A good method is to either constantly think of nothing. This is an activity in itself, when your mind starts to wander or other thoughts start creeping in, take it back to nothing.

I’m thinking of nothing.

Or you can try a counting exercise. Such as counting backwards from 100. While you do this, focus on your breathing. If you lose track, just start over again.

However, I forgot all these methods (I generally do better with guided mediation). So I floated with the following thought process:
“This is so boring”
“How long have I been in here?”
“How much longer”
“Did my foot just touch the edge of the tank?”
“I’m bored”
“I’m bored”
“I’m bored”

After a while I was just thinking about how nice it would be to get out and have a looooong hot shower.
So, 30 minutes into my 90 minute float, that’s what I did.

My shower was lovely.

Unfortunately, the experience wasn’t really a good fit for me. However, I was super sore from working out so much earlier this week and I was less sore after the float. My skin is now the softest and smoothest ever. I was experiencing mild physical PMS pains earlier in the day which have now magically vanished. And I was feeling pretty good when I got back home, so I immediately fell asleep for a rad 2 hr nap. So that’s something.

But it was still neat and I would be willing to try it again with better mental preparation of what it will be like.

There are also lots of places that offer a 60 minute float, so that would probably be a better option for me.

My friend really enjoyed the whole experience. Afterwards she said she felt completely relaxed to the point of feeling high.
She also though the stress lines in her face were reduced after just one float!

I definitely recommend you go try it out. It wasn’t scary at all as you can just pop open the door and get out of the tank at any time. And the possible benefits of the floating experience are very much worth the time and cost of trying it out.

Overall for my time and money, I think I’m better suited to a massage, but it’s always great to try something new.
If you are into meditation, I fully recommend giving this a try!
So search Groupon for a deal on a float house near you.

Other helpful tips:
-Eat before you go, I did not and I spent a lot of time thinking about where I would eat afterwards.
-Do it naked, so you are not distracted by a restrictive suit.
-Many places have pods with dim lighting, others are pitch black. Choose wisely.
-There are tanks and pods, don’t worry about the minimal differences between the two.
-Do not touch your face. The ultra salty water will really sting! You’ll have to get out, rinse your face and start all over.
-Same goes for cuts and scrapes. Don’t float with a cut. It’ll be impossible to ignore the stinging!
-The guy told me no one has ever drowned at his float facility (but as if he would tell me if a bunch of people had!)…. though it does seem pretty impossible to drown.
-If you are poor, you can try to recreate the experience on the cheap at home. Just make a really warm salty bath turn down the lights and relax.

homer-and-lisa-to-natural-remedy-store

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The Spirit of the Holidays

This year I have been consumed with driving around to see Christmas lights on peoples houses.
Not the really great houses where homeowners went all out to really make an amazing display.
Or even those who have done a decent job of decorating.
But more so the houses with really terrible lights partially strewn about.
As if those people really just took that Christmas Spirit and said…..
“Ah, fuck it. One string of lights half on that rock is good enough”.

I just love those houses. I love the mystery behind their decision. It’s not that they don’t care at all, because then they wouldn’t have any lights at all. They cared enough to do all the following:

They decided to decorate
They found the lights
They untangled the lights
They went outside with their lights
and then…… dedicated all of three and a half minutes to the act of actually installing the lights.

Now, it’s the motivation (or lack thereof) is what totally intrigues me.
Did they feel guilted into decorating because all their neighbours have lights?
Did their spouse endlessly pester them into putting up the lights?
Were they drunk?
Are they feeble seniors who cannot physically execute the installation?
Did the young children insist on doing the decorating themselves this year?
Was it too cold out for them to complete the job?
Did they run out of lights?
Do they not have a ladder?
Did they think Jesus’s feelings would be hurt if they didn’t decorate for his birthday party?

All of these excuses would be reasonable. What other excuses can you come up with to justify a half-assed job on putting up the lights?

I want to drive around taking pictures and make a photo essay. But alas, I have no decent camera.

One of my friends commented that I am extremely judgemental for someone with no lights up at all.
But that’s exactly it. I know I wouldn’t do a good job, so I’m not going to put in the effort.
Why bother doing a bad job? Is it not better to save that energy to put towards something else?
I have instead spent all my time and effort cutting out paper Star Wars snowflakes with which to decorate the mantel.
These have received plenty of compliments and (as far as I know) have never been the subject of a blog post or photo essay.

Here are a couple pictures of terrible lights.
Enjoy and may the spirit of xmas be with you!

xmas1

xmas2

xmas3

I feel that growing up, we may have been one of these types of houses.
A single mother who wants to put in the effort, but just cannot find the time or resources to devote to the project.
Our single string of outdoor xmas lights were basically a festive alternative to a porch light. Providing safe passage to those trying to navigate our icy steps.

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Shaving Sucks P2

I still think shaving sucks and I’m continuing with my at home laser treatments.
First of all, I discovered that I am terrible at reading instructions.
I thought I was supposed to begin at level 1 on the zapper and slowly work my way up to level 5.
Nope.
I was supposed to start at 4 or 5 because it’s based on your skin tone, not based on how much of a wimp you are.
So I cranked it up to a level 3 today, because I want to know what I’m getting myself into.

Level 3 doesn’t hurt at all. But there is a residual warmth that begins to spread after the laser pulse and it’s a bit unsettling. I am confident I can handle the level 5, but I’m not exactly looking forward to it.

The worst part so far has been the couple days following the bikini treatment.
The skin gets very, very irritated and dry. To the point of pain.
However, I can’t attribute this fully to the laser. Since I have to shave so well before the treatment, much of the resulting discomfort could be entirely due to the shaving.

Other notes are that the laser didn’t even activate when I tried to use it on my very tanned friend. But it did work on my Filipino boyfriend. So it should work on you fine as long as your not super tanned with blondish hair.

I can’t see any evidence that the laser treatment is working on me at all, but it’s supposed to take like 6 months, and it’s only been 2 weeks.
Patience, patience.
Stupid shaving.
I’ll be glad when this nonsense is all over with.

at-home-laser-hair-removal

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